Friday, May 30, 2008

Mama On: One Final Point

"Some people choose to view the world through a cracked mirror."

This picture was forwarded in an email I recieved today, and I had to wonder. That someone addresses a political cadidate in this way is beyond sad -- they didn't even have the courage to attack the man directly. Rather, they went after his wife, and where's the chivalry in that? But the sado-sexual imagery makes me wonder -- is this an image of fear, or desire?
It's hard to believe that anyone might find this cover art to be funny, interesting, or even reasonable -- and it is certainly not politically astute, appealing as it does to the very lowest elements of American society. But it is obvious in the need to bind and demean her (while dressed in an evening gown, no less!), that her power is feared.
And while this cover is both bigoted and racist, I say, DO YOUR THING, MICHELLE! This woman has taken a stand and chosen to support a man determined to do his best -- and I'm not mad at either of them.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mama On: Minding Your Own Business

"When people choose to sleep, it's not your job to wake them up."

There are some people, like the guy who shows up at your gym in the burmuda shorts and black dress socks. You know that somebody told him it was a bad idea, but he chose to do it, anyway. Well, that's largely what this principle of Mamaknology is built upon: knowing when to keep your mouth shut. People are going to do what they are going to do, and you can't always stop them -- especially when they enjoy the madness they leave in their wake.

My mother liked to call it, keeping your own counsel. But, the truth of the matter is, whether you keep it to yourself or not, some people (even you and me from time to time) are going to make bad choices. At its best, making a bad choice will teach a lesson and make us better people. At its worst, making a bad choice can be life altering and dangerous.

So, as Mamaknologists, it is incumbent upon us to learn the difference between being supportive and becoming an enabler of stuff that's just flat out crazy. Somebody who works fulltime and won't pay their bills? That's crazy and we all know it. People who drink and drive, then try to convince the world (including the police) that they are not committing a criminal act? Accept that if you want to -- just don't ride with them. Women and men who take up with (and keep returning!) to abusive mates -- I'm not even going to say what I'm thinking.

But take it seriously when people around you elect to live lives that you wouldn't want to have to justify to Jesus -- or your mama. If they choose to sleep, it may not be your job to wake them -- but you don't have to stick around to make the coffee when they finally decide to wake up, either.


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Mama On: Tone

"If you can't say something nice; think about it."

A-ha! This one surprised you, didn't it? You thought this would be the old, "... say nothing at all," point of view, right? The Mamaknologist is always smarter than the expected, and above the cheap insult. My mother was adamant: a woman who CAN only answer an insult with an insult is eternally less than her best. A woman who WOULD only answer an insult with an insult is too lazy to claim her true glory and can only aspire to the coveted title of practicing Mamaknologist.

This principle is not to be confused with the biblicly etheral turning of the other cheek. As a Mamknologist, you already know that what you put into the world is most often what you get out of it. My mother would have told you that you deserve the best this life has to offer. Further, she would have told you that if you lack love and concern for someone, even a self-proclaimed and persistent enemy, then it is incumbent upon you to dig deep and have enough dignity and character to care for yourself, because even the biggest fool can teach you something.

The Mamaknologist defines "tone" as a particular mental state or disposition affecting an individual's spirit, character, and presence. It is that defining manner of style, morals, and philosophical outlook that speak to who you truly are. Now armed with the definition, my mother (Qualifier of All Things Mamaknologable) would tell you that the quality of who you are, and how you establish yourself in this life is up to you.

Don't want to be badly spoken to? Watch your tone.
Want help when you need it? Watch your tone.
Expect to get old someday? Watch your tone.
Don't want to be ignored? Watch your tone.
Want to be respected? Watch your tone.
Crave attention? Watch your tone.

Final words of Mamaknologist wisdom: It's not only what you say, it's when and how you say it, so watch your tone.
  

Monday, May 19, 2008

Mama With: A Few More Words

If you're still wondering why someone would come up with those Curious George Shirts, or why they would launch such vitupritive attacks on Barack and Michelle Obama, I'm guessing that it is fear. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown and the different. Happily, we are not all afraid, and while we know our past, we are not afraid to face our future. Take a look and listen to the words of Americans looking to the future:

The We Are The Ones Song by will.i.am
View the video

people say Obama’s words are just words...

but...
when was the last time "words" weren’t important...???...

when was the last time a great leader didn’t use words to lead...??...
when was the last time a person didn’t use words to describe how they felt...?...
when was the last time "words" weren’t empowering...?...

and we can all recall the last time "words" were used to divide us and install fear...

Bush used words to fear us into voting for him the second time around...
terror this...

terror that...
nuclear here...
weapons of mass destruction there...

and those words effected a lot of people’s choices...

"enough is enough"...
let’s rebuild...

let’s change ourselves...
let’s allow positivity to guide us...

let's take action....
let’s activate our passion...
we are Americans....

and this is the first time in forever that someone running for president
represents "US"...

some say this is all excitement...
I call it “proud to be an American”...

some say this whole Obama movement is "cult like"...
well...
if it comes across cult like...
then...
the cult is called America...

the Obama movement is connecting America.
and it has made "US" realize our importance...
the youth is excited and activated...
adults are passionate and motivated...
the elderly are proud to know the country they built is in safe hands...

we are one..

for too long politics has been corrupt...
separate from the American people...
with agendas that go against what the American people "need"...
education...
health...
safety...
jobs
etc...

politicians have spoken a different language...
making it so the youth and poor people feel as if voting was only for the
wealthy and old people...
making "US" feel as if "we" had no voice...
making "US" feel powerless...
making it feel like if "we" did vote it wouldn’t change anything...

but wait...
that did happen...
some of us voted, and it didn’t change anything...

we were in the dark...
we had no voice...
we were powerless...

because America was not a united America...
and "they" spoke a different language...
and they had an agenda different from our well being...

correct me if I’m wrong... or speak up if I’m missing something...

we want education, health, safety, and good jobs...right???...
oh yeah...
and "a healthy planet to live on"...

but here we are...

in a war... poor education... poor health programs... the dollar is down... the
planet, polluted...
the rich, richer... and the poor, struggling...
with sky high gas prices to top it all off...

and now even the rich aren't really rich internationally because our dollar is
has fallen so far down...

in our slumber... a very small few got really rich...

because when you’re sleeping...

"it’s hard to change agendas"...

we know what happened in 2000 and 2004...
but in 2008...
it’s different...

we are awake...
and there is a movement...

and "it’s hard to change a movement"...

last time "we" didn’t have a movement...
America wasn’t united...

and now "United and "Standing"...for something...
we know the power of "US"...
and we have a person who represents the "U.S."...

"US"…

"we are the ones we’ve been waiting for"...

I’m proud to be an American...

Performed by will.i.am and Zoe Kravitz

Friday, May 16, 2008

Mama On: Racism

"Monkey see, monkey don't."


Now, the casual observer may quickly and easily note that the owner of Mulligan's (a Marietta, GA bar and grill) is covered by the First Amendment, that he can say whatever he wants to with regard to the Curious George shirt that he is currently selling. And legally, he is covered and he is grown, so saying and doing what he wants goes without saying. But is it funny? Is it reasonable? Is it acceptable? Is it moral? Is it right?

As a Mamaknologist, I'm going to say no to all of these. If the answer to any of them was a simple, yes, why don't we see George Bush's name on a similar shirt? Senior or Junior, they both have the "cute" ears, and both their names are George, though I have not yet heard what they have to say about bananas.

Now, to let you in on the rest of the story: The t-shirt in question features a smiling picture of Curious George eating a banana and the words, "Obama in '08." Protesters showed up. Customers were interviewed and immediately disparaged the shirts -- several of them fled when they saw the cameras and protestors. Mulligan's owner declared that all proceeds from the sale of the shirts would go to the Muscular Dystrophy Association. And, no sooner had the words passed his lips, than the FOX 5 station personnel broke into the broadcast -- the Muscular Dystrophy Association called and said they would NOT be accepting any money from Mulligan's for the t-shirt sales, or from the sale of any similar items.

As of today, Mulligan's bar and grill is still trying to sell the shirts. The ranks of the protesters have increased. The owners of Curious George are threatening to sue for damages. And Mulligan's owner still insists on the purity of his intent and says that the shirts truly represent Obama.

Think of all the other things that could have been on that shirt: food prices, gas prices, hungry children, HIV indifference, and so much more. But no, he had to go and try to make the man into a monkey. So, let's call it what it is -- racism, in effect. Racism is a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, and usually involves the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others. Bigotry is intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.

Even if Mulligan's owner would/could point to aquaintances who would publicly back his opinions, he's still a racist. Yeah, yeah... a rose by any other name... Still, I am going to align myself with groups like the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, the Nation Of Islam, and the Cobb Immigrant Alliance and say that the owner of Mulligan's is a racist. I'm going to say that his graceless, bigoted, backdoor assault on a man of integrity and political authority is shameful. And I am ashamed and insulted to have this degree of ignorance flaunted by anyone. As a woman of color, if I'd ever thought of eating at Mulligan's, I won't now. God knows, I won't ever get that hungry.

Now, Mamaknologize THAT!

Story Links:
Chicago Tribune

Atlanta Journal Constitution

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mama On: Being Fearless

"I'm not afraid of anything I can step on."

Every Mamaknologist out there can attest to how attractive, intriguing, and sexy fearlessness is. My mama was a fierce woman. Not only was she an Amazon, tall and curvy with what is now termed an athletic build, but she believed in herself and dared the world not to do the same. As a dedicated Mamaknologist, she laid claim to herself and her world and steadfastly refused to let go.

I already told you how she felt about her shoes, and she never hesitated to stand tall in them. She believed that she could step on bugs. She believed that she could step on any path a man could. She believed she could step into a world of options. She believed she could stand for children. She believed that she could teach her child to walk the high road. She believed that she could teach. She believed that she could take a very personal political stand. She believed that she could walk anywhere as long as she kept her hand in God's. And the amazing thing was that she did.

The lesson here is that no Mamaknologist should ever be afraid to step forward or step up. The world is counting on us. As a practicing Mamaknologist, you are a spiritual inheritor of my mother's shoes and goal directed Mamaknology, so stand tall, walk well, and enjoy life unlimited.

Celebrate the Mamaknologists in your life. Happy Mothers Day!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mama On: Trying

"Nothing beats a failure, but a try."

This simple statement is a deceptively complex concept of Mamaknology. The basic idea behind it is, if you don't put out the effort , how will you know whether or not you will succeed? It doesn't matter how good your singing sounds in the shower if no one else ever hears it. It doesn't matter how beautiful or clever your writing is if no one ever reads it. It will never matter how great your dreams are, if you never act on them. And fear of failure should never be your reason for not reaching for a dream.

Fear has been known to control animals in lab environments, and goodness knows, Life is an ongoing experiment. So, as a practicing Mamaknologist,why not try a new experiment? Try living your life. For just 24 hours, try something you've always dreamt of doing. Want to sing? Find a voice coach and take advantage of that one free session. Want to act? There are dozens of schools offering free talent assessment. Want to model? Tyra is online every day. Want to write? Pick up a copy of The Writer's Market from the library and send your poems to the appropriate publisher -- or go to an epublisher. Television or radio your passion? Sit in as an asistant for a morning or afternoon.

You get the idea. Whatever it is you truly want to do, don't let fear be an excuse for not trying. The options may not generate instant fame, but they are endless and the worst thing anyone can tell you is, "no". My mother (the Head Mistress of Mamaknology) was very specific on this because, "nothing beats a failure, but a try ."

Monday, May 5, 2008

Mama On: Doing The Right Thing

"Do as I say, not as I do."

This is one of the more difficult bits of Mamaknology to bring to the table. Difficult, not because it's something that a LOT of us (parents and otherwise) say and do without thinking. Rather, it is difficult because it means that a practicing Mamaknologist has to realize, accept, and admit that something is wrong with their own behavior. Then, they have to care enough to correct the behavior in someone they love.

I am very grateful that my mother chose to introduce this precept early in my life. My mother was a heart attack and stroke victim. She passed ten days before her 57th birthday. And, as a pre-eminent Mamaknologist, she held me to a higher standard than the one she set for herself. She made sure that my ideas of nutrition were sound, that I understood the reasons for exercise and took them to heart. She made it a priority for me to understand that even my amazing body had limits, and that I had to pay attention if I wanted it (my body) to look good and last for a lifetime.

So, when the Mamaknologist who raised you says, "do as I say, not as I do," smile and realize that the nugget of truth borne in her wisdom has brought you this far. When the Mamaknologist you are says, "do as I say, not as I do," knowing that you're doing it for all the right reasons, congratulate yourself -- you've just taken another step toward mastering Mamaknology.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Mama On: Taking Care Of Yourself

"It's always the shoemaker who has no shoes -- and that's not right."

My mother was a font of "Old Wives Tales," and I spent a lot of my childhood and youth wondering who those old wives were, and where she'd met them. I was even kind of curious as to why she bothered listening to them. As I've gotten older, I've noticed that my mother not only quoted the tales, she fixed and amended them.


Case in point: "it's always the shoemaker who has no shoes." In my mother's eyes, any woman with enough talent to make shoes should always have some to wear -- and they should look and feel good. As a practicing Mamaknologist, she applied this to life. The Mamaknology take on this is that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else, and the intent is anything but selfish. As a Mamaknologist, you are dedicated to always doing your best. You are also dedicated to making sure that those around you look their best, but this never means that YOU don't deserve to reap the benefits of your best.

My mother used to say that a woman should ALWAYS keep a bit of her best for herself. She would in fact, warn me, my friends, her friends, and anyone else she could catch, that giving away everything left you with nothing to give -- not even to yourself.


So, invest in yourself. Make the doctor's appointment. Have the mamogram. Give yourself a few minutes for yoga or stretching. And, for as long as the option exists, pick up the phone and call your mama.