Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Mama On: Friends
"Good friends are a blessing: Never take them for granted."
I am glad that I listened to my mother when she said this. I am glad that I had the accidental foresight to choose my friends wisely, and that though I have had many of them for nearly half a century, they continue to shine and to appreciate in value.
Mamaknologists know that friends are a good thing. My mother, Arbitor of All That Is Mamaknological, had two wonderful friends: Ruth Luke and Eva Andrews. They were everything friends are supposed to be. Cute, sassy, and always ready to enjoy each other, these ladies taught me what friends were supposed to be. They were the sisters my mother had been born without. When my mother's health declined, they stepped in and stood her ground for her -- in stilettos. When my knees grew weak and my footsteps faltered, they propped me up and pushed me forward. They showed me what to look for in a friend.
Today, I mark the passing of my friend, Regina. A special woman, one of the lynch pins of my sister circle, I miss her already. A great mind, quick wit, and as silly as the day is long, I don't like to think that she ever had a "bucket list," but then, she didn't really need one. Regina was a Mamaknologist and a believer in making every step count. She was an amazing mother and an awesome wife. And she was my friend. She was my dear and loving friend.
Almost everyone I know has said, "Give me my roses while I'm alive," and we like to think we mean it. I think that going forward, I'll be saying, "Give me the love of my friends," because I have been lucky enough to have that warm and secure circumstance in my life. Regina and I once had a conversation about the value of saying, "I love you," and saying the words while they counted. I am so glad that on more than one occasion, we had the chance to say, "I love you," and mean it.
Yeah, she was my sister from another mister.
I will never be able to say that I've lost her, mostly because I cherished our friendship so deeply. But it is in her passing that I am reminded and impelled to count another blessing: I am still here with so many of the women who are my friends, some of them from childhood. And now, the Mamaknologist in me needs to let them know how much I love them, how much I cherish them, and how much of them I carry with me on every day of my life.
So to my much loved friends, I am reminded to say, I love you.
I also need to say that for good, bad, or indifferent, your love makes me the woman I am --and I know that there's a little bit of me in your back pocket, too.
Love you, Girl!