Sunday, June 19, 2011
Mama On: Coincidence
"Everything happens for a reason."
This year Fathers Day falls on June 19th, and June 19th has a lot of importance in my life. My mother and father were married on June 19, 1949. If they were both still with us, this would have been their sixty-second wedding anniversary. Sixty-two is a lot of years and a lot can happen over that much time, but almost right up until the day he died, my father smiled when he talked about my mother. At 87, he still called her his, "Baby."
As it was, my mother passed in 1985, giving them nearly thirty-five years together. You have to know that I totally appreciate being a product of that kind of love. But it makes me stop and think... what if that tall, good-looking soldier had never met the pretty statuesque girl from Philly? What if he hadn't had enough respect for her to learn who she really was and to treat her like a lady? What if she had been more of a rump-shaker than a wife? What if neither of them was interested in family?
After all of that, all I want to know is: How in her infinite Mamaknowledge did she know? Could it really have been a matter of coincidence, or did God make an unavoidable plan that resulted in their marriage and me getting here?
One summer night a long time ago, sitting on the back steps with my head in my mother's lap, I asked that question. Daddy smiled and looked at my mother. I watched her smile back at him and felt loved. In her infinite Mamaknowledge, the answer was simple. "Everything happens for a reason."
Now all these years later, I think I understand. Yes, she was trying to fill in a blank for me, but being who and what we were, when and where wewere, being in the midst of love was no accident. And I hae to say that I am glad -- and more than a little proud -- to be a part of the reason my parents found each other and stayed together.